


Larry-oke 12: Larry's Birthday Bash

by SRassier



Series: Larry-oke [12]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Birthday Party, Humor, Karaoke, Love Triangle, Luther Hargreeves: Sex God?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: It's Larry's birthday. He has a request for his friends in lieu of any gifts...surprise him.
Relationships: None that matter (unless you ask Five)
Series: Larry-oke [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717192
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Larry-oke 12: Larry's Birthday Bash

**Author's Note:**

> Song List:
> 
> Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce  
> I Want Your Sex by George Michael  
> My Humps by The Black Eyed Peas  
> Afternoon Delight by The Starland Vocal Band  
> Stand by Your Man by Tammy Wynette
> 
> I highly recommend watching the Stand By Your Man scene from Blues Brothers...this fic is directly related to the dance moves in that movie.

Larry never worked on his birthday. It was a hard-set rule that he refused to break. This year he thought it would be fun to celebrate by experiencing Larry-oke from the audience. He called a good friend who actually got him into the business so many years ago and asked her to fill in for him that Saturday at Hannigan’s bar.

Larry didn’t know if he was more excited or terrified at the anticipation of his birthday festivities. He had never really spent time with the entire Hargreeves clan for a long period of time. Most of his interactions with them were through his job running Larry-oke. The only exception was the brief and bizarre stretch of time when Five would come to his place to watch movies. This time had thankfully ended, but his friendship with the superhero team did not.

The group all piled into the bar, chatting, and laughing about something Diego had said at dinner. Larry had told them that he didn’t want a big deal made, but they insisted on taking him and his girlfriend out before heading to the bar for the show.

Sitting at the reserved table, the group ordered some drinks and when they arrived Allison stood up, holding her drink up in a toast. “To Larry. He managed to bring this motley crew of crazies together in the closest thing to harmony that we ever achieved.” She smiled at Larry. “Simply by being himself.”  
“To Larry!” The rest of them echoed.  
Larry tried not to blush as he stood up, ready to make his own announcement. “Thanks Ali, that was really nice. I actually had a request for this evening.” He looked around at the faces giving him their undivided attention. “I know I said no gifts, but there is something I would love to see, or rather…hear.”  
“Oooh,” Klaus squealed, “I’m listening.”

“Well,” Larry went on. “You guys have been doing Larry-oke for an exceptionally long time and don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed every. Single. Minute. Buuut, in the interest of my own entertainment…I’d like to issue you a challenge” The group was on the edge of their seats, none of them ever wanting to back away from a challenge. “I challenge each and every one of you to shock me. Choose a song that there is no way in hell I’d ever expect you to sing.” Each member of the family (along with Herb and Dot) looked around at each other no doubt already thinking of the best choice to smoke the competition. “Good luck!”

The show started at 9 on the dot and the very first thing out the gate was Larry’s substitute leading the bar in a jovial Happy Birthday for Larry. He was touched, but had a hard time concentrating due to his mind working overtime trying to guess what the Hargreeves had in store for him.

He didn’t have long to wait, as the first name called was Klaus. Larry had absolutely no idea as to how Klaus would attempt to shock him, as Klaus seemed to feel the need to lend his very special “style” to any song that tickles his fancy from rap to pop to even leading the crowd in a rousing polka chorus of “In Heaven There is No Beer.” Everyone watched with anticipation as Klaus calmly sat on the stool on stage and gave a very restrained performance of “Time in a Bottle” by Jim Croce. After the song ended, Klaus curtseyed politely and ran off the stage, he skipped back to the table and plopped on Larry’s lap, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. “Shocked?”  
“Floored.”

Next up was Luther. Larry told himself that any song that wasn’t 100% wholesome would probably knock him off his chair. Luther not only went non-wholesome, he went full on dirty. The big man looked positively terrified as he struggled his way through the most awkward performance of “I Want Your Sex” that has ever been heard. The crowd of course went nuts for it and as he hurriedly shuffled back to the table, Larry heard Klaus whisper to Anthony, “I lost.”

If Luther singing George Michael was strange, then Vanya performing the most adorably wooden twerking while belting out “My Humps” was positively bizarre. She finished the song and strutted back to the table and leaned into kiss Larry on the cheek. She winked at him and his girlfriend and whispered, “it’s in the bag.”

Larry got a respite from the wackiness as a few regulars and newbies got up to sing, giving him time to head over to the bar to chat with Stacy. “Hey man, how’s your birthday going?”  
“I am enjoying the show, that’s for sure.”  
“I was going to ask you what the hell your guys were putting in those drinks I made you.”  
Larry smiled and proceeded to explain his gift request to her, causing her to burst into laughter at the thought of the family going whole hog to embarrass themselves for their friend. 

They chatted a bit and weren’t really paying attention to the names being called. Suddenly, mid-sentence, Stacy stopped talking, and her jaw dropped as the cheesy 70’s music began playing and her attention was pulled to the stage. Larry turned around and his own jaw sat slack when he was faced with the site in front of him.

There stood Five and Dot, standing dangerously close to each other, as Five sang through plastered on fake smile, “Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight.”  
Larry couldn’t decide if it was the best thing he had ever seen or the scariest as Dot took the next line, “My motto’s always been when it’s right it’s right, why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.” He concluded that it was absolutely the best thing in the world as Dot abandoned her microphone in favor of sharing the one Five was holding as they both sang, “When, everything’s a little clearer in the light of day…” Just when Larry thought he was enjoying this more than anyone else could possibly be, he caught the rest of the Hargreeves out of the corner of his eye. The entire table, including Larry’s girlfriend, had their phones out, chronicling the joyous moment to enjoy over and over again.

When the song finally ended, Dot basked in the applause as Five plunked the mic on the table as he hopped off the stage, his teenage frame confident as he strolled over to the bar. Before Larry could thank him for a wonderful gift, Five walked right past him and plopped himself on a stool. He crooked up and eye and smirked, informing Stacy that his performance of “Afternoon Delight” was dedicated to her. Stacy rolled her eyes so hard; Larry was worried they would fall out the back of her head. He shot her a pitying look and grabbed his drinks before heading back to the table, leaving her to deal with Five’s crush.

The evening was winding down, time only allowing for a few more songs and Larry noticed that Allison had not been up once. He scooted his chair over and inquired as to why. Allison just sipped on her drink, sending Larry a sly grin. “What’s more shocking than me not singing at Larry-oke?”  
Larry nodded before offering his glass up for her to toast with him. As their glasses clinked together, he smiled. “Well played.”

Last up for the night was Diego and Herb. If Larry was honest, this was the performance he was truly waiting for. What could the dynamic duo (or team zero, as the pair called themselves) possibly do that would shock Larry?”

He was answered as the duo stood on stage, standing shoulder to shoulder, hands folded in front of them. The simple guitar started and when the two men began to sing, Larry nearly spit his drink out. 

“Sometimes it’s hard…to be a woman.” Herb and Diego crooned smoothly into the mics as the crowd went nuts. “Giving all your love, to just one man.” Just when Larry thought it couldn’t get better, the two men jumped up to a register that neither of them could hit quite right and continued. “You’ll have bad times, and he’ll have good times. Doin things that you don’t understand.” Once they hit the chorus, Larry knew that this performance would be talked about for weeks to come. Diego and Herb busted out choreography and pointed to the floor in front of them, then to their sides, before pointing out into the audience and then finally their own chests as they wailed out, “Stand by your man.” At this point, Larry lost it. He spent the rest of the performance laughing and trying his best to keep his phone steady so he could watch this again, and again.

As the applause died down, Diego and Herb strutted off stage and sauntered back to the table, just in time for Five to come back and join the rest of them. “So?” Luther broke the silence of the group as the bar behind them started to file out into the parking lot. “Who won?”  
Larry gulped down the rest of his drink and stood up. He took in their looks of anticipation and smiled. “I did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this one is so short. I just got it in my mind to make everyone sing things against type and I had to get it out. 
> 
> Also, sorry no Ben. I thought about it for a week and couldn't think of a single song to make a decent joke. Fear not, Ben will return!!


End file.
